On Reddit, someone recently asked the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subthread whether they were wrong for missing an emergency since they had turned off their phone on a tech-free weekend.
The Original Poster (OP) explained that he and his best friend have a traditional yearly weekend trip away, and it’s phone free.
They’ve been doing it for a decade, allowing them to reconnect and explore a city. OP added, “Still, we liked to keep one on hand for navigation and emergency purposes, and it would usually be Friend’s phone that we brought along.”
The most recent trip was the first since OP had gotten married. During their engagement, when these weekends happened, his wife didn’t seem to have a problem.
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This time was different. OP explained, “I understand that there are different expectations once you get married, but I didn’t expect for the 180 in behavior.
My wife all but demanded I take my phone as well in case she needed to get ahold of me despite her having Friend’s number.”
OP agreed to take his phone and texted his wife to let her know as soon as he arrived. However, that wasn’t the end of it. He explained that after the first text, his wife immediately texted back, asking how things were.
Because he hadn’t responded, she sent another text: “I eventually muted our text conversation because I was sick of the phone buzzing.”
Later that day, the wife called asking why OP wasn’t responding to her. He said, “I reiterated that this was supposed to be a no phone weekend and kept the call short despite her trying to drag out the conversation. She called me once more after this. When I answered and found out it wasn’t an emergency, I simply turned off my phone.”
He continued, “The calls then started coming in for my friend and he followed suit. We spent the rest of the weekend with our phones off until the drive back on Monday.”
OP said that when Monday came, he called his wife to say that he was close to home but that she was “furious”.
He continued, “She said that there ended up being an emergency (her sister got into a car accident that won’t affect her long-term, but still resulted in broken bones) and that I had just ignored her the entire time when she ‘needed me.'”
In response, OP said that he was sorry to hear the news but, “… it wasn’t my fault she had essentially forced my hand into cutting off means of communication. She went to stay with a friend before I arrived home that night and has since came home, but she’s still fuming.”
OP concluded by asking his fellow Redditors, “AITA?”
Reddit’s Response Was Mixed
One response saw over 10,000 upvotes. They said, “ESH (Everyone Sucks Here). I have the odd feeling that she almost wanted there to be an actual emergency so she could feel justified in bothering, and might have created one if it didn’t occur naturally. She desperately doesn’t want you away from her. You’ll need to have a serious conversation about that.”
Another agreed, “I had a similar thought that she was sabotaging the tech-free weekend. If friend can’t relax because he’s fielding texts, then OP can’t relax either and it’s a win for her. She sounds awfully insecure and exhausting.”
Story Takes an Unexpected Turn
Later in the thread, and in response to many questions from Redditors, OP added more comments to explain some more context about his friend. In one of them he said, “We were broke college / post-grad students. We were living the one bedroom apartment life.”
He also added, “He and I lived together from the time I was 18 until I was 24. Some people might not think it was purely platonic, but I wouldn’t say anything explicitly sexual happened.”
One Redditor replied, “My guy. You buried the lede on this for FOUR HOURS. You shared an apartment AND A BED with your male “friend” for FIVE years. Coincidentally that year began immediately after the first of these annual trips. I’m assuming this is real but the Brokeback analogies are strong and the coyness raises my spidey sense.”
They went on to provide an edit, “I originally read that they were “poor college kids” and roomies for a year. FIVE YEARS. They shared a bed for FIVE YEARS. I’ve updated above and double down on my assessment. OP YTA. Massive A and willfully ignorant of the active harm you’re causing your wife.”
Initially there was sympathy for OP but as he added more comments to the story, Redditors turned on him. But what do you think, are you sympathetic to his position?
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