A fed-up and frustrated wife took to Reddit to ask for opinions after she told her husband to pick up his own mess instead of counting on her daughter to do it. And, boy, did she get opinions! Here is the full story.
They’re a Blended Family
OP is the mother of a college-aged daughter who lives at home instead of in the dorms.
OP is also married, but her husband is not the girl’s father.
She’ll Take It
The man and girl have always treated each other with respect, and they’ve always gotten along.
OP isn’t sure that either one loves the other, but she’ll take what she can get.
They’re Not That Close
OP’s husband came into the picture too late to form any kind of father-daughter bond with the girl, so they don’t have that type of relationship.
She’s Not There to Manage Them
Recently, OP’s husband changed jobs and started working from home full time.
Since OP works a day job in an office, that meant her husband and daughter would be alone in the house for a good chunk of the day.
It Started Out Okay
There were no problems with the arrangement to start with, but OP’s daughter soon started coming to her to complain about her stepdad.
He Broke Her Concentration
The issue was that OP’s husband continually interrupted the daughter while she was studying to ask her to do things for him.
He Wanted Her to Clean Up
And he definitely wasn’t asking her to do anything fun!
Instead, he started asking her to pick up the messes he made throughout the day.
He Was Too Busy
For example, if OP’s husband sat down and had lunch at the kitchen table, he’d go knock on the daughter’s door afterward.
He’d want her to come clean up his dishes and other mess because he was heading into a meeting.
It Happened ALL the Time
OP thought maybe her daughter was overreacting to a harmless request at first, but she kept coming to her day after day.
And she always had a story about what her stepfather wanted her to do that day.
She Told Her to Leave It
Usually, OP’s daughter would just clean up like her stepdad asked, to avoid a fight.
But OP reached the point where she’d heard enough, so she told her daughter to just leave the mess the next time he asked for help.
He Left a Big Mess
So that’s what happened, and when OP came home from work that day, she found her husband’s lunch mess on the table.
She confronted him and asked why he hadn’t cleaned up.
He Thought She Should Have Cleaned Up
His answer was that OP’s daughter should have cleared the table since he was busy with work.
But the girl was listening to the conversation and she told her mother she hadn’t even eaten lunch that day, so the mess was all her stepdad’s.
She Busted Him
That’s when OP told her husband she knew he had been pulling the same stunt day after day.
OP could see from his body language that he felt busted, but he wasn’t taking any blame.
His Work Was More Important
Instead, OP’s husband said he didn’t think it was a big deal for the daughter to take a break from schoolwork for a few minutes to help out.
He repeated that he was busy working all the time.
She Turned His Words on Him
OP’s daughter jumped in and asked why her stepdad didn’t just clean up if it was such a quick and simple task.
They Were on Their Own
Before the argument could get out of control, OP put her foot down.
She told her husband not to bother her daughter during the day.
From then on, everyone had to pick up after themselves.
She Humiliated Him
Later on OP’s husband came to her upset, saying she had humiliated him in front of her daughter.
He Needs to Grow Up
OP doesn’t think she did anything wrong, though, and she told her husband to grow up.
Redditors mostly applaud OP for standing up to her husband on her daughter’s behalf.
His Behavior Is Unacceptable
Many of them wonder, though, if there are other problems in the marriage, based on what seems to be sexist behavior from the husband.
Some suggest that OP should watch carefully for other issues because it seems like her husband is not happy that her daughter is home when he’s working.
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