In a recent Reddit thread on the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subreddit, a mother asked if she was wrong to make their daughters wear dresses when visiting their grandparents.
This woman’s in-laws are the traditional sort. They’re the kind of people that think the world should have stopped 50 years ago and that everything since is evil.
They aren’t racist or bigoted but very old-fashioned religious folk. The mother and her husband have three children, two girls aged 14 and 16, and a ten-year-old son.
They live close to their grandparents on both sides of the family and visit them regularly. The issue, however, arises when they visit her husband’s traditional parents, who don’t like the idea of women wearing pants.
Her mother-in-law says it’s “showing off,” and her father-in-law says it isn’t Christian.
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The wife describes herself as “pretty feminine” and doesn’t mind wearing a dress to visit her in-laws, but the kids aren’t and hate it.
They don’t like visiting their grandparents on their dad’s side because their parents force them to wear dresses.
It’s affecting the woman’s husband, who feels his heart breaking because his kids don’t want to see his parents.
The mother says the two girls are tomboys who never wear dresses except when visiting day comes around.
Their mother had to buy them a few dresses to see their grandparents, as they literally had none.
The mother explains that in the past when the girls wore pants to visit, their grandparents welcomed them, but it became the main point of every conversation.
They wouldn’t stop talking about how much they hate women wearing pants, so the mother made the girls wear dresses for an easy life.
Her daughters hate this rule and think it’s unfair. The mother agrees that it’s unfair but doesn’t think it’s a big deal as, in a lot of cultures, women only wear skirts and dresses. She adds, “it isn’t like it hurts them to wear a dress a few times a week for a few hours.”
The mother ends the post by explaining that she is worried that this clothing ban is affecting her children and reveals that her oldest daughter plans never to speak to her grandparents again once she turns 18.
Thecoffeefrog gave the top-voted response, with a huge 51,000 upvotes. They said YTA (you’re the a**hole) to the mother due to her enabling her in-laws views that women wearing pants are showing off and not Christian – “YTA for letting your in laws treat your daughters this way.”
No-Personality1840 agreed with thecoffeefrog and received over 16,000 upvotes indicating many similar views. They said, “Yep. Has nothing to do with the in-laws age. My grandma was born in 1909 and she wore pants til the day she died. She wasn’t very religious.”
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They added, “Their grandparents should love them for them, not if they wear what they consider appropriate clothing. It’s not 1950 anymore. G-parents need to accept things are different and you need to support your kids.”
No-Koala8996 got over 10,000 upvotes for their comment agreeing with other redditors’ verdicts. They said, “YTA, women wore pants 50 years ago. And why are the girls over at their place so much, if your In-Laws are not able to actually respect them?”
Low_Tourist added, “I don’t think people realize 50 years ago was the 1970s.”
Finally, Left-Car6520 weighed in on the topic and received over 7000 upvotes. They said, “You are on the wrong side of history here, without question. YTA. My grandmother used to fight with my dad about me not wearing dresses to church. God I hated dresses.”
They explained that, “my grandmother was born before 1900, she had some very outdated ideas. And my dad was not exactly a hero dad in many ways, but in this aspect he stood up for me, hard. Against his own mother who he loved and admired very much.”
What do you think about the story? Did they handle the situation well? Or what would you have done in her shoes?
Our article has been inspired by Reddit and does not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of Career Step Up.
This article was produced by Mama Say What?! and syndicated by Career Step Up.
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Anatoliy Karlyuk. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.