Reddit has provided an interesting story about someone who has asked the community whether she’s wrong for asking her finance’s non-binary sibling to be a bridesmaid rather than a ‘groomsperson.’
A Non-Binary Sibling’s Story
The woman, who is engaged to a man named Dan, has been in a relationship with him for three years. Dan has a non-binary sibling named Quinn, whom he is close to.
Navigating Quinn’s Non-Binary Identity
Although Quinn’s parents accept their non-binary identity, they don’t fully understand it.
Getting Along With Fiancé’s Sibling
The woman likes Quinn and gets along with them, but is concerned about their role in the wedding.
Quinn’s Role in the Wedding Party
Dan recently mentioned Quinn would be a “groomsperson” and stand on his side of the wedding party wearing a suit.
Groomsperson or Bridesmaid?
The woman was surprised by this and thought Quinn would wear a dress and stand on her side of the wedding party.
Dealing With Potential Family Reactions
However, she is worried that Quinn’s appearance could confuse their older family members unaware of Quinn’s non-binary identity.
Dan’s Protective Stance Towards Quinn
When she expressed their concerns to Dan, he became angry and accused them of being inconsiderate.
Miscommunication and Frustration
She explained that she doesn’t mind Quinn being part of the wedding party, but she thinks it could cause unnecessary stress and confusion on the day.
Trying to Make Compromises
She even suggested Quinn could wear a black dress or pants designed to look like a dress, but Dan refused to consider the option.
He didn’t want to upset Quinn by asking them about their preferences.
What Should She Do?
The woman is now wondering if it would be wrong to approach Quinn and ask them directly about their feelings on the matter.
She Needs to Speak With Quinn Directly
Redditors overwhelmingly said the woman was not a bad person. One user said, “If Quinn is in the wedding party regardless, who cares what side they’re on?”
“If their gender presentation could go either way, ASK if they want to wear, rather than just assume.”
ProofPlum exclaimed, “A lot of women who identify and present as women wear suits as groomsmen all the time…it’s not even weird or unheard-of… and I doubt anyone would be confused”
Where Are They Now?
After the post got so many negative comments, she admits to being prejudiced and holding unfair bias towards their fiancé’s non-binary sibling, Quinn.
After receiving feedback and having a heart-to-heart with Quinn, she apologized for her thoughts and agreed to reevaluate her views.
The New and Improved Wedding Plans
The wedding plans were changed, with Quinn promoted to Dan’s person of honor and wearing a tailored suit as they share the role with Dan’s best friend.
What do you think? Is the woman being insensitive or is her fiancé being too protective?
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The post Is She a Jerk for Asking Her Fiancé’s Non-binary Sibling to Be a Bridesmaid Instead of Being a “Grooms Person”? first appeared on Career Step Up.
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Krakenimages.com. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.