A recent Reddit post sparked a discussion where a mother shared her experience of her father-in-law’s demand to give her baby a white Jewish name. Here’s the full story.
The original poster (OP), aged 37, and her husband, aged 45, had a baby four months ago.
OP is South Asian, and her hubby is Caucasian and Jewish.
Her Father-In-Law Wanted to Name Her Baby With His Heritage
Recently, OP learned that her father-in-law had been sending her husband emails while OP was in the hospital giving delivery, asking that they give the child a white Jewish name.
Her Husband Didn’t Tell Her About It
He had written, “If you don’t do this for me, you can consider our relationship over” and “I don’t understand why my grandchild should have a pagan Hindu name” as well as, “A [my heritage] middle name would be fine.”
They Followed Their Hearts
But her husband didn’t tell OP about this. They chose to give their baby the name OP chose. Later, he said in an email, “So [OP] wins again.”
She Named Her Baby
OP mentioned that her country’s cosmology is used to choose the names of their children.
Her father-in-law is aware that OP does not practice Hinduism, and that Hindi and her language have similar linguistic roots.
Her Husband Supported Her
OP’s husband has never recommended a Jewish name for either of their children, and OP was unaware that her father-in-law had requested this for the first child before insisting on it for the second.
It Was Important to His Wife
When questioned, the husband stated that he had no strong opinions about the baby names, but knew that OP’s naming custom was important to her.
Her Mother Was Always There for Her
All of OP’s family members reside in their country of origin, and shortly before OP went into delivery, her mother was turned down for a visitor’s visa, which has been quite upsetting for OP.
And She Recommended the Name
OP says that her mother helped with childcare, and cooking, and was a wonderful support during the six months following the birth of OP’s first kid, and she recommended naming their second child.
Her In-Laws Were Never Supportive
OP’s first child was never supported by her in-laws when they visited, and they once demanded that OP and her husband return in an hour when OP asked her father-in-law to take care of the baby who was napping.
Her Husband Doesn’t Like His Father’s Racist Nature
OP mentioned that her husband doesn’t like his did because of his dad’s extreme racism, and neither does anyone else in their immediate family.
He Said What?
The father-in-law frequently says offensive, hostile, and aggressive comments that are racial or sexist in nature.
He said “Arabs are the most murderous people in the world” when OP first met, and things have only gotten worse since then.
Her Father-In-Law Refused to Apologize
So when OP’s husband finally confronted his father about the name debacle, his dad refused to apologize for insulting their relationship, OP’s character, and her background.
He’s Still Making Demands
Currently, OP’s father-in-law wants OP and her husband to drive 5-6 hours with their baby to visit them instead of coming to OP’s house to see the baby.
OP told her husband that she doesn’t want to go, and her husband also agreed to her choice.
The post Indian Daughter-In-Law Confronts Ultimatum Over Her Cultural Practices, Sparks Discussion first appeared on Career Step Up.
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