A young man took to Reddit recently to ask for opinions about an argument he had with his boyfriend over who would stay home to raise the children, if they eventually have any. This is his full story.
They Met in School
OP is a 23-year-old man who works as a professional assistant, or PA, in a law firm in his hometown.
His boyfriend is 23 years old, too, and works in a primary school where the two men went to college.
The Distance Doesn’t Matter
OP and his boyfriend maintain their long-distance relationship by seeing each other on weekends, and they also spend their holidays and vacations together.
The Boyfriend Wants Kids
At some point in their relationship, OP’s boyfriend mentioned that he wanted children sometime before he turned 30.
OP doesn’t care one way or the other about having children, but he’s down with it if that’s what his BF wants.
But He Doesn’t Want to Raise Them
Things got touchy, though, during a discussion about their future.
When the topic of children came up again, OP’s boyfriend mentioned that OP would have to be the one looking after the baby throughout the day.
Not What He Dreams About
OP was caught flat-footed because he had never even told his boyfriend he wanted kids. And he certainly never expressed any interest in being a stay-at-home dad.
He Loves His Work
OP expressed his hesitation about being a stay-at-home parent. He loves his job and has no intention of giving it up entirely.
The Boyfriend Thinks He’s More Important
OP’s boyfriend was angry at that reaction and even belittled OP’s job as a PA.
He reminded OP how important the role of a teacher is in children’s lives and accused OP of being unloving and a monster for not prioritizing the baby.
He Would Go Back to Work
But OP stuck to his guns and said he’d definitely take paternity leave if they were lucky enough to have a baby someday. He was also definitely going to return to work, though.
His Life Is Already Pretty Great
OP went on to remind his boyfriend that children were never a central focus of his life and that his current life is already pretty great.
He has a supportive family and gets to spend a lot of time with his nieces and nephews. And, of course, OP loves his boyfriend and has a job he really enjoys doing.
He Turned the Tables
OP also turned the tables on his boyfriend. He asked him why he wasn’t willing to take on the stay-at-home parent role.
The BF just resumed his shouting and name-calling at that point.
He Wasn’t Done Asking Questions
But OP had another question he wanted his boyfriend to answer. He asked him how willing and able he’d be to take over parenting duties at night after spending all day with 30 other children.
The BF didn’t have a great answer for that one.
Parenting Is a Team Sport
All in all, OP is not opposed to having children and even thinks he might enjoy it. But he believes that child rearing should be a joint effort by both parents.
It Wasn’t Even His Idea
OP can’t understand why his boyfriend wants to drop all the parenting responsibilities on him when it’s the boyfriend who’s dead set on having kids in the first place.
Redditors expressed a variety of opinions on this one, with most supporting OP’s desire to maintain their career and not be forced into a role they don’t desire.
Others point out the importance of open communication and compromise in a relationship, suggesting the couple seek counseling to navigate their differing views on parenting.
He Was Named After a God
Recently, a Reddit user shared a story where he legally changed his name, and as a result, his father threatened him. Here’s the full story. His Father Gave Him a Name That Resulted in Him Being Bullied, He Legally Changed It, and Now His Father Is Demanding He Change It Back
He’s a Family Man
Reddit has again provided a source of entertaining reading. Recently on a subthread, a happily married man told the story about a recent visit to the gym. He Went to the Gym for a Work-Out and Took off His Wedding Ring, She Saw Him, Assumed He Fancied Her and Has a Meltdown
In a neighborhood plagued by inconsiderate neighbors, one woman took matters into her own hands – or rather, paws. Her Neighbors Were Abusive to Her Dog, so She Decided to Give Them a Taste of His Fur!
Bucky’s Parking Predicament
In this encounter, Bucky, a veteran visiting a hardware store, finds himself in a parking dispute with a self-proclaimed Captain America. Let’s find out how this entertaining showdown unfolds in the battle for parking supremacy. A Guy Tried to Shame This Veteran Out of His Parking Space, so He Got Some Revenge
The post His Boyfriend Wants Him to Quit His Job and Raise the Kids They Don’t Even Have Yet first appeared on Career Step Up.
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Krakenimages.com. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.