A mom took to Reddit to ask the community if she’d overstepped her boundaries with her daughter-in-law. She wanted to know if she was a jerk for “pressuring” her daughter-in-law into letting her help during her pregnancy.
A Hands-on Mom Wanted Advice
Linda, a loving and caring mother of two grown-up kids, Kylie (28) and Chris (25), had always been a hands-on mom.
She helped her daughter Kylie during both of her pregnancies by staying over at her house for a month.
Being a mother herself, Linda understood the challenges of pregnancy and childbirth, and was always there to support her children in their journey to parenthood.
A Happy Arrival
Her son, Chris, had recently married Camila, a beautiful and kind-hearted girl from Latin America.
Camila was expecting her first baby, and – being a foreigner – she had no family in the country except for Linda and her husband.
She Was Overjoyed
When Camila announced her pregnancy, Linda was ecstatic and offered her help and support.
She knew how hard it could be to go through a first pregnancy alone, and she didn’t want Camila to feel overwhelmed or scared.
She Was a Point of Call for Her Daughter-In-Law
Camila appreciated Linda’s offer and often called her to ask questions or seek advice. Linda was always happy to help, and gave her the best advice she could.
As Camila’s due date approached, Linda asked her if her mom would be coming to visit and help her during the delivery and postpartum weeks.
It’s Different in Her Culture
But Camila replied that her mom wouldn’t be coming, because it’s not something people usually do in Uruguay.
She also said that she wanted some alone time with her husband after the baby was born.
She Wanted to Convince Her How Useful She Could Be
Linda felt sad hearing that Camila would be alone during such a crucial time in her life.
She knew how important it was to have family around during the first few weeks of the baby’s life.
Linda tried to convince Camila that it was a common practice in the US for grandmothers to come and help around when a baby was born.
She’d Do Everything for Them
She told Camila that she could stay over at her house for a couple of weeks before the birth so she could rest.
She could also cook, do laundry, and clean so that Camila wouldn’t have to worry about household chores.
After the baby was born, Linda could continue to help with the house and the baby.
Camila Declined, but Linda Kept Pushing
Camila initially declined Linda’s offer, saying that her husband would be on paternity leave and could help with everything.
But Linda knew that there were certain things that only a mother could help with, especially during the postpartum period.
She also knew that being a first-time parent could be overwhelming, and that it was helpful to have someone who had gone through it before.
Her Son Agreed, and Helped Persuade Camila
Linda’s son, Chris, agreed with her and said that he wouldn’t be able to provide the same help and support that another mother could.
After a lot of persuasion, Camila finally agreed to Linda’s offer, and they all had a lovely dinner together.
But Her Daughter Didn’t Like It
However, Linda’s daughter, who had stayed back to talk to her, criticized her for overstepping.
She said that Camila was obviously uncomfortable with the idea of Linda staying over, and it would only add more stress to her.
She also said that Linda wasn’t respecting Camila’s wishes of having some alone time after the birth, which was something she was used to.
She Told Her She’d Overstepped
Linda’s daughter accused her of pressuring Camila into agreeing with her.
Linda Was Shocked
Linda was hurt by her daughter’s words. She had only wanted to help and support her son and daughter-in-law during this exciting yet challenging time.
She couldn’t understand why her daughter was being so unsupportive of her efforts.
Was She in the Wrong?
Linda was left feeling confused and wondering if she had done something wrong. She wanted to know if she was at fault, as her daughter had said.
Everyone Is Different
Linda may have had good intentions when she offered to help Camila, but ultimately, she should have respected Camila’s wishes and not pushed the issue.
While it’s understandable that Linda wants to be there for her son and his wife during this exciting and stressful time, she should remember that everyone has their own ways of doing things.
Imposing our beliefs or practices on others is not always necessary or helpful.
There Are Other Ways She Could Help
It is important to respect people’s boundaries and to listen to their preferences, even if they differ from our own.
Linda could still be a helpful and supportive grandmother without staying with Camila and Chris. For example, she could offer to help with errands or meals.
Linda must communicate openly and respectfully with Camila to find a way to support each other that works for everyone involved.
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The post Her Daughter Told Her She Overstepped, but She Just Wanted to Help first appeared on Career Step Up.
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Asier Romero. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.
Source: Reddit
