A Reddit user turned to a thread in Reddit to ask if she was being unreasonable for telling their brother they moved too fast in their relationship.
Trying to Keep the Mother’s Memory Alive
OP’s brother, James (39m), is a father to a daughter named Piper (15f).
Unfortunately, when Piper was just four years old, her mother passed away, leaving a void in her life.
Despite this, James made an effort to keep Piper’s mother’s memory alive by sharing stories and treasured photos with her.
She Began to Have Some Bullying Problems
However, when Piper was six years old, she began to experience bullying from a fifteen-year-old girl named Nancy, which lasted for over a year.
The Breaking Point
The situation reached its breaking point when Nancy tore up a photo of Piper’s mother during a show-and-tell family edition that Piper’s class was doing at school.
Their Parents Started Dating
Following the incident with Nancy tearing up the photo of Piper’s mother, Piper developed a dislike towards her.
But things took an unexpected turn when James and Nancy’s mother met and became friends.
They Got Married a Year Later
A few months later, they started dating and eventually got married a year later.
She Was Upset by the News
Unfortunately, Piper didn’t take the news well and distanced herself from her father.
Her discomfort with the situation increased when her father and Nancy’s mother moved in together and got married.
The Bully Tried to Mend the Relationship
Despite Piper’s resentment towards Nancy, Nancy was eager to establish a relationship with her step-sister.
But Piper wanted nothing to do with it and kept her distance.
Her Mother’s Suggestion
Nancy’s mother suggested that becoming sisters would help repair the damaged relationship between Piper and Nancy, but OP thought this was a far-fetched idea, given the history between them.
She Still Holds a Grudge
James recently confided in OP, expressing his disappointment that Piper and Nancy hadn’t become close despite his hopes.
Piper still holds a grudge against Nancy and wants nothing to do with her, going so far as to not trust her with anything important.
They Moved Too Quickly in the Relationship
When James shared his disappointment about Piper and Nancy’s strained relationship, OP offered an explanation.
OP suggested that perhaps the reason for the distance between the two girls was the fact that he had moved too quickly in his relationship with Nancy’s mother.
There Was No Closure on the Torn Relationship
OP pointed out that he had started dating Nancy’s mother without any apology or resolution regarding the incident with the torn photo, and that Piper was still upset about Nancy’s presence in her life when they got married.
The Father Could Have Done More
During their conversation about Piper and Nancy’s relationship, OP expressed to the brother that he hadn’t done enough to make things better for Piper.
It Won’t Erase the Pain
OP pointed out that James seemed to have thought that getting married would automatically erase the hurt that Piper felt and the bullying that Nancy had subjected her to.
Things Could Have Gone Differently for the Girls
OP suggested that perhaps if James had given it more time, allowed Nancy to apologize, and given the girls some space outside of school to interact, things might have improved.
However, at the time, there was one child who was hurt and angry, while the other was eager to have a father figure.
He Became Defensive
When OP suggested to James that he could have handled the situation differently, he became defensive.
He accused OP of wanting her to let Piper dictate his life, but OP clarified that that wasn’t the case.
He Told Her to Mind Her Own Business
OP explained that if James wanted Piper to be happy and to have a positive relationship with Nancy, then perhaps taking things more slowly would have been beneficial.
However, James was dismissive of OP’s advice and told OP to mind her own business, reminding her that she was just his little sister.
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The post He Married the Mother of His Daughter’s Worst School Bully first appeared on Career Step Up.
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