After dating for five years, a Reddit user approaches his girlfriend’s parents to seek their blessing before proposing. However, a response from the dad raised alarm bells in his head.
Marrying across races can be tricky, and interracial couples often have to deal with conflicts when each tries to assert different values based on their racial and cultural identity.
One Reddit user experienced this in his interracial relationship and has since asked for advice on the platform.
According to the Original Poster (OP), a 29-year-old Black male; he and his girlfriend N, a 27-year-old Korean, have been in a relationship for almost five years.
However, OP explained that in the past months, he had been planning to propose, and because he is pretty traditional, OP felt it would be fitting to inform N’s dad and seek his blessing before proposing to his daughter.
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OP arrived at N’s parents’ house, disclosed his intention to propose to their daughter, and asked for their blessing.
After hearing his intentions, N’s mother was ecstatic, and her father didn’t seem too displeased about it and even encouraged him to propose.
After OP received N’s parent’s blessings to propose, her mother brought up the topic of babies.
Once OP explained he wanted to have kids with their daughter, N’s mother became even happier.
After speaking for a while, OP announced he would like to leave, after which N’s mother left for the kitchen to send him home with some food.
After N’s mother left, OP and her father sat in silence due to the language barrier, as N’s father’s English isn’t as fluent as her mom’s.
However, with his limited English, N’s father shocked OP when he suddenly said:
“You are a very nice young man and we like you a lot. We’d be happy to have you in our family, but our we are not too happy about you and her having dark babies.”
According to the OP, he couldn’t believe what he had just heard and laughed awkwardly.
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After sitting in silence for another two minutes, N’s mother came out with a wrapped plate, and he left.
After getting home, OP said nothing to N; however, he knew they would still have to talk about what her father said.
OP doesn’t want to be the one who accuses N’s family of being racist due to what her father said, and although it might be irrational, OP thinks N might not want to have kids because of how dark he is.
OP then asked readers how he could approach N in the least problematic way.
Following OP’s post, several Reddit users took to the comment section to give their opinion.
However, many of them believe N already knows about her parents’ disposition towards having kids with him, including Reddit user @DrHugh whose opinion had the most votes:
“She probably already knows. You can ask her if she knows how they feel about you, or if they have said anything about you two getting married and having kids. She likely wants you. But I suspect her parents’ racism is not news.”
Another user @The_Lonely_Cupcake noted: “Her dad showed his true face. He may have said “we”, but don’t immediately assume that includes his wife.”
Meanwhile, another user @Veronica-Summers, agreed that the mom might share the dad’s view writing:
“He also waited for her to leave which is a good sign that he knew she wouldn’t agree with it.“
What do you think about the story? How should OP speak to N about what her father said? Or was he right to think N probably shares her father’s view?
This article was produced by Mama Say What?! and syndicated by Career Step Up.
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Roman Samborskyi. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.