A busy feminist divided Redditors when she excluded another woman from her women’s discussion group. Was she breaking her own code? Here is the full story so you can decide for yourself.
They Talk a Lot
OP is a woman in her 30s who has been meeting with several other women twice a month for a good while now.
It’s a Lively Group
While the group originally started out talking about their careers, OP and the other women quickly added on discussions of politics and feminism.
She Was Trouble
A while back, one of the other women brought an acquaintance along with her to one of the meetings.
Almost right away, OP knew the newcomer was going to be a problem.
Her Life Was a Mess
This new woman worked in a dysfunctional job and was with a deadbeat man who only wanted her for her money.
OP didn’t know how any woman could live like that.
They Tried to Help
But since they were all about helping each other as women, OP and the other group members tried to give the newcomer some advice.
She Didn’t Even Try
OP was happy to lend guidance, but it all seemed to fall on deaf ears.
The other woman never took any action, not even to go for counseling, which was a constant suggestion.
She Dreaded Every Meeting
Over time, every meeting became like a therapy session for this one woman, and OP dreaded even showing up to what had once been an important part of her life.
She Lied to Get Out of It
So, eventually, OP contacted the group and let them know that she wouldn’t be coming back.
Her schedule had just gotten too busy, she lied, and she couldn’t afford the time.
She Checked In
One of her friends from the group reached out to OP just to make sure everything was OK.
She Fessed Up
That’s when OP confided in the other woman about her dread around seeing the newcomer and her weepy, sad demeanor every other week.
They Felt the Same Way
OP’s friend admitted that she’d been having the same feelings, and the two women made plans to meet up so they didn’t completely lose touch.
They All Showed Up
But when OP’s friend showed up for the meeting, she had the rest of the women’s group with her.
Everyone except for the troubled newcomer, that is.
They Ditched Her
Since that first meeting, the original group has been getting together on a regular basis again.
The other women told OP that they each gave an excuse to the outcast as to why they couldn’t continue meeting.
She Felt Guilty
OP was already starting to feel guilty about basically group-ghosting the struggling woman.
She Was Super Sad
Those feelings only intensified when the new woman sent a group email saying how sad she was that the group broke up.
It made OP feel like a real heel.
She Lost Everything
The woman also said that OP and the other women had become her only real support system.
She Was Using Them
It was never OP’s intention for her women’s group to become a support system at all.
It was a place for vigorous discussion and maybe some problem-solving.
She Was Out of Options
And OP for sure tried to steer the other woman away from leaning on the group for emotional support.
She Felt Like a Bad Feminist
But regardless of her intentions, now OP wonders if she’s a “bad feminist” and maybe a bad person for excluding the other woman from the group.
Redditors are somewhat torn on this situation.
Most of them think OP was justified for feeling dread about seeing the complainer and trying to redirect her discussions.
But some think she took the coward’s path by sneaking out of the group and lying about it.
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The post Betrayal in the Sisterhood? Why One Woman’s Was Silenced and Made to Feel Like a ´’Bad Feminist’ first appeared on Career Step Up
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